#Feminism: I Am A Feminist! Huh?

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I am a feminist. That I know. It has little to do with the fact that I am female, but a lot to do with the fact that I am female. Right. Confused? I thought so. So I asked my friends and acquaintances to tell me what came to mind when someone told them they were a feminist. The responses were very interesting!

  • Someone who advocates for equal rights & opportunities for women. Though usually it feels like they advocate a bit too strong hadi people don’t like them.
  • I believe you mean you support anything related to females.. E. G, their rights hivi hivi… 😜
  • Mtetezi wa haki za wanawake…
  • It means fighting for the rights of women and equality for both genders.
  • They are very passionate about gender studies and equality.
  • The person fights for women’s rights.
  • A feminist believes in equality between men and women (not just superiority of women which is what most people wrongly assume).
  • A feminist is anyone, male or female, that holds the truth of women being equal to men in every characteristic and facet of life, and that there isn’t a disparity or inequality inherent between genders.
  • Ngai Fafa! Its a women thingie…..something like that.
  • They seriously advocate for female rights, the girl child and what not..
  • Ride or Die Female for Females😅
  • A tough lady who actually know what she deserves and is prepared to fight to have it.
  • Anti sex workers.
  • A woman who consciously commits to the struggle of women. A femminist takes sides, defending the woman championing her cause.
  • A feminist is a person who does not like the way women are treated _ patriarchy, inequality, oppressive laws against them, being treated as second class citizens etc.
  • A feminist is a that rare breed of human that doesn’t take the ‘its our tradition’ narrative sitted down.
  • When I hear the word feminist my mind clicks on a woman with a vagina.
  • A feminist is a heroin…she takes a stand for the rights of women who dont have a voice and would otherwise be treated as no more than a few pieces of brass or silver.
  • Creepy. Someone who won’t stop fighting for their rights everywhere I go….complain about each and every injustice and inequalities among genders. Most of the time they are those bitter people! So bitter about it!

Fascinating answers! I personally wouldn’t have thought of this. I remember a few years back when I had a conversation with this person who was seemingly intelligent and they just couldn’t understand why I kept saying and insisting that I was a feminist. And yup, he was a man. No surprises.

Not that there aren’t men out there who aren’t feminist, no. There are. It is just that the concept of feminism clashes with the ingrained mindset of misogyny and patriarchy that we have grown up learning every single day of our lives.

When you tell your little girl “sit up and straighten your dress”, you are perpetuating patriarchy. Basically, it is a system where women are lesser than men. How many times have you heard boys being told “don’t be a sissy!” or “don’t do that, its girly!” – you know, as if being girly is something to be ashamed of, or rather, something lesser than anything ‘manly’. How many times have you heard women saying “she’s so manly!” and sneer at the person or whenever someone in power like, say, Martha Karua who is referred to as the “Iron lady” and considered to be “too manly for a woman” and so forth.

I don’t want to get into too much detail, but to sum it up, seems my friends and acquaintances do understand what feminism is, although we still see that quite a number have a skewed view of feminists. Not to blame them too much though, some feminists have indeed gone overboard in their “feminism”, going as far as stating that it is about “women taking over the male world”, which is absolutely incorrect.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie sums it up simply:

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, “You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise you will threaten the man.” Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices. Always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors. Not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing. But for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.

Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

What comes to mind when you think “Feminism“? Comment below!


#MondayMusings: Why Polygamy And Not Polyandry?

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While doing some research on the Marriage Act 2014, I came across this post that stated in part “However, Polyandry as well as same-sex marriages have not been given legal recognition under the Bill” and it got me curious about Polyandry.

Polyandry (/ˈpɒliˌændri, ˌpɒliˈæn-/; from Greek: πολυ- poly-, “many” and ἀνήρ anēr, “man”) involves marriage that includes more than two partners and can fall under the broader category of polyamory. More specifically, it is a form of polygamy whereby a woman takes two or more husbands at the same time.

After seeing that statement, I asked myself one question; how come polygamy is allowed and polyandry is not? And I went further and asked, are there places in the world that actually have polyandry happening?

Well at least most of us remember that case where two men agreed to share one woman, right? Apparently she had been torn over the two men for years and just couldn’t choose who to settle with and they came into an agreement that they will share her and the responsibilities of her house including taking care of the children. The story goes on to explain that their ‘unusual’ (actually, abnormal!) union would not stand in court unless the two men (yes, the two men!) proved that in their cultures polyandry was a common practice. Otherwise the union would be null and void.

Fascinating innit? That it is the men that would need to prove that they had such customs in their cultures and not the woman right? Like, even when she’s the one basically having two men pinning, nay, fighting over her, she still has no say over her ‘unusual marriage’.

What’s more is that one of the residents of Kisauni, where the three lived, said “We have never heard of something like this in Kenya, it is uncouth, untraditional unbiblical and against the holy books, including the Koran. Why on earth would a woman be shared by two men? They should be taken to court and punished,”.

I wondered therefore, whether there were any examples of polyandry in the bible and this conversation here just put it all in perspective. The bible basically does not recognise polyandrous unions. In fact, polyandry would have been an unheard of phenomenon, considering the fact that women were basically at the bottom of the lowest food chain there existed. Think about it, how many times did you hear the bible go “and he had two sons and two daughters named X, Y and Z”? It has always been that the boys were mentioned explicitly and the girls weren’t. If they were, it was simply a number. For example, ever wondered how come Adam and Eve only had sons? Didn’t they have daughters? Genesis 5 says that Adam and Eve had three sons, Cain, Abel and Seth and then goes on to say “and other sons and daughters”. LOL. 😒

But even then, Polyandry has been in existence in many cultures around the world. Polyandry in Tibet was a common practice and continues to a lesser extent today. In India they still practise it albeit in minority communities. It also happens in Nigeria, Namibia, among the Maasai in Kenya and Tanzania and some indigenous communities in America.

On a side note, there are several communities around the world that actually go further and have Matriarchal Systems; where the women of the
community literally ‘rule’ their world. 😀😀 The Mosuo, living near the border of Tibet are the most famous matrilineal society. There is no institution of marriage; rather, women choose their partners by literally walking to the man’s home and the couples never live together. Since children always remains in the mother’s care, sometimes the father plays little role in the upbringing. In some cases, the father’s identity is not even known. Instead, the male’s childrearing responsibilities remain in his own matrilineal household.

How’s that for an ideal society!? 😃 😄


Need more reading? See. These. Links. And the ones all over this post :-)

Sunday Reads

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Here is a summary of a few of the things that have caught my eye this Sunday

Look Who’s Fighting Homophobia In Kenya

A small gay rights group’s innovative approach has converted some surprising advocates to the cause

“Everyone [was] talking about how religious leaders are the cause of all these things,”  Adhiambo explained in an interview with Ruth Messinger, president of the American Jewish World Service, which funds PEMA. That wasn’t just her perception: “Rhetoric vilifying LGBT people, much of it by religious leaders, is particularly pronounced on [Kenya’s] coast, and shapes public perceptions,” according to the September Human Rights Watch report.


Meet the 10 year old boy with the mind of an adultKenya's Youngest Author Starts Second Book

Ngure Matu Ndiritu 10, is not your average 10-year-old boy. He admits he sometimes thinks he is just too old for his actual age.

Whats more, his parents and siblings – who are much older than him – have often questioned Ngure’s exact age.

“Most times I struggle to fit in when playing with my age-mates, I have to lower myself to their level but I keep the ‘me, in mind,” says Ngure in an interview withTuko.co.ke.

At age of eight, Ngure became Kenya’s youngest author after he launched a children book that he started working on when he was only six years old. The book was published in 2014, a few month before his ninth birthday. He is now working on his second book.


Once in a while I share old posts from my old blog. Here’s one I liked a lot back then.

Dear One,

Hey, how you doing? Its been a long long time since we last spoke. Yes. I know, a letter was the last thing you expected from me. Well, I didn’t have the guts to call you or send you an email so I just decided to do this. Hope you like it.

Remember when we met? I ain’t no romantic but, you swept me off my feet. I feel so bad right now that you are not around to do that anymore. I still get shivers whenever I think of you. I also get a cold chill run down my spine when I think of you and your new found love. Sorry to say but I am still sad about that. But this is not why I wrote.


Well, there’s more definitely! But digest those today and then go to my twitter and see more links and stuff I talk about :-)


#TGIFurahidays! Keep Warm Nairobi

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Its Friday people! Whoop whoop!

I haven’t written a ‘normal’ post in a while so this is gonna be a lil sketchy but here goes.

Ever wonder why your skin gets goosebumps when it is chilly? I’ve always wondered and I read a little about it.

Apparently, the body hair of all mammals automatically stands up when cold, creating a fluffy layer of warmth. When we‘re cold, the muscles around the hair follicles contract – a reflex left over from when our ancestors had long body hair. But since we don’t have much body hair, all we see are the goose bumps on our skin.

I’ve always had a bit more hair on me that, well, maybe not that much hehe…but I’ve always thought my arm hair was a little longer than usual. At some point I actually used to shave my arm hair off, something to do with self esteem and what not. But then soon enough I just felt ‘meh’ and let them thrive. They’re beautiful and I don’t have to not like them.

What about hiccups? What causes those? Seems like when the diaphragm — a muscle situated between the lungs and the stomach — becomes irritated, it begins to spasm. This spasm causes what is commonly known as hiccup. *hic* *hic*. They also occur because of a disturbance in the nerve pathways that lead from the brain to the diaphragm, explaining why they sometimes occur during emotional situations or temperature changes. They may begin after you swallow too much air, eat too quickly or too much, or experience excitement or anxiety.

And last but not least, yawning. *yaaawn!* Ever wondered where those things come from and why they happen? A new study reports that yawning is a mechanism involved in thermoregulation of the brain.. The researchers found yawns are preceded by increases in brain temperature. Also, when you yawn right after you see someone else yawning, it is most likely because you’re both in the same area and your brains are both adjusting to the temperature. [Source]

Keep warm folks. El-Nino is here!


Kasarani-Mwiki Road Being Fixed!

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Yup! My route is being fixed! Seems Kidero heard my plea, among many other pleas and came to the rescue.

**Photo coming soon**

Plans are underway for the fixing of the road and I heard that he said it was a ‘face value’ piece work since it is the responsibility of KENHA or some other government agency and not the Nairobi County Government. Meh! This politics will be the end of me.

Meanwhile, Hunters residents will have to bear with the numerous cars that have now been diverted through their street as the main road is being fixed.

Woi! Talk about dust and noise and all other crazyness!

In essence, we shouldn’t be complaining so much. We should keep putting pressure on those responsible to fix fix fix everything!

What else is happening? Barclays wants to charge more for loans? Shananae!!