#FeminismWednesday: Ciswoman, Transwoman, All women. Different Together.

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Just read this article by @oliviabroustra and I am here wondering, what the hell?

Here are my thoughts…

“Saying that because you are a woman, your penis is a female penis and should be seen as a vagina in change rooms and woman spaces, while women constantly still deal with being sent dick pics, and being flashed, and forced to see penises when we never consented to. As a rape survivor this can be especially difficult for me.”

Yoh!! Why why why?? So preop transwomen who go to womens bathrooms flash their dicks around to the rest of the (cis) women???

“A celebrity rich famous woman who had been a man for so so many years and a woman for very few winning a women’s award over women who had far far more right.”

Even I was shocked…but then…America!

“Telling lesbian woman they are transphobic if they do not overlook a pre op trans woman’s penis.”

Gosh! As my fiance says, these genitals are being given so much power than they already have!

“And I am not saying you don’t have a right to transition, you do. But I have a right to natal born woman spaces, I have a right to the language that I am barely allowed to use currently. I have a right to not be forced to see a penis in a changing room, just because you see it as a vagina. And I am generally the one ok with nudity, but as a rape survivor, sometimes I don’t want to be exposed to a penis which is why I sometimes need women changing rooms. And no you identifying as female doesn’t decrease the shock value when I suddenly see a penis and wasn’t expecting too.”

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! So, again I ask, in the US, transwomen go to changing rooms and wag their penises at ciswomen’s faces every damn time??? Chei!!

“Germaine Greer faced a similar crucifixion when she attempted to discuss the need to acknowledge the difference between a woman who spent 50 years as a man and is now a woman and is winning women’s awards and being hailed as a role model and that women were left to feel like they were being told that now men are better at being women than women.”

This is where people don’t get it. And I don’t think cispeople will ever get it. Caitlyn Jenner was a woman from the beginning. Just because she started living as a woman in her sixties doesn’t negate the fact that she was a woman “pretending to be a man” for all her 50 years of existence. Yes, she probably did receive male privilege and benefited from it, but it still doesn’t remove from the fact that she was a woman who was treated and referred to as a man for 50 years. That life, that takes a whole lot of courage. And for her to finally get out of the hole she was in and become who she truly is, that took courage. And it was because of this that she got the award.

“I am watching my birth control rights, my abortion rights, my rights to toplessness, fall away. I am watching sexual predators strut around the white house. I am watching women feeding their children be yelled at harassed and shamed for the most natural act. I am being forced to see my own body as only sexual every fucking day when I get catcalled or try to go online dating. I am forced to either conform to men’s standards on my body or risk being ostracized by them. Even choosing not to wear makeup, even choosing not to want motherhood, brands me as not woman enough.”

This paragraph speaks of “women” struggles as if it only applies to cisgender women. What about women who ‘transitioned’ early in life and are now struggling with getting pregnant, being cat called, right to toplessness (because they too have boobs!), breastfeeding in public (yea! transwomen also breastfeed, and so do transmen), downright misogyny, sexism and patriarchy! What’s the issue here???

“…women who were born women…”

Yoh! So transwomen were born men? Transmen were born women???? Isn’t this transphobic already? As you go around saying “It isn’t transphobic when…” haven’t you already done the same thing you don’t want to be done to you?

Finally, what about the transgender men? Don’t they have vaginas? How come you haven’t mentioned them anywhere in your article? You speak of lesbians yes, but what about the, as you probably would say, “men who were born women”? What about their vaginas? Haven’t they, in their pretransition years, also have similar experiences to yours? Do they ever feature in your arguments? Or do their experiences don’t matter anymore because they’ve “embraced” masculinity??

Pray tell, how??

*facepalm*

We will never end this conversation people. There will always be someone who thinks differently from the other one.

Pamoja twaweza!


#WCW: Adelle Onyango @ADELLEO

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My #WCW for today is none other than @ADELLEO!!

I’m sure anyone who listens to KISS 100 knows who I am talking about. Adelle Onyango has become one of Kenyan Radio’s biggest personalities of this year. Not too long ago she was doing the mid-morning show until mid this year when she took over from Kalekye Mumo. Despite the rumours about how Kalekye left and she took over, Adelle has been doing a banging job holding fort and besting Shaffie at his game! #TeamADELLE has grown strong and it even gave rise to #TeamShaffie.

One of her widely known projects is Project SHE. At the beginning of 2015, Adelle Onyango begun collecting stories of conquest from women across the world. They would share a challenge they faced in their life that they eventually overcame. ProjectSHE partnered with the Technical Engineering College of Pretoria, South Africa and the students of the college, sent in their stories. The male participants would share a female icon that they draw inspiration from. On the 1st of April 2015, Adelle Onyango begun sharing a story per day. (Source)

To see more of her inspiring work, see www.adelleonyango.com.

Oh and she ain’t one to take bullying lying down!

Namaste!


Single Lady In Nairobi: When You Give Up Everything For A Man Who Doesn’t Love You

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Single lady in Nairobi: Don’t be eager to over impress

Have you ever met those ladies in university who do everything for their boyfriends? I don’t mean ‘everything’ in terms of love and care for them; I mean cook, clean his house, wash his boxers and even give them money. Meanwhile the guy just sits there smoking shisha and blowing the smoke in your face as you tirelessly scrub off the vomit from last night’s party off his carpet?

Such cases just leave me wondering where the heck we went wrong as women. I mean can’t we just give fair share to a relationship without going as far as literally breaking your back just to keep this guy by your side? Is the sex really that good that you’d give your all to become a wife to someone who doesn’t even give a rat’s ass about whether you find other girl’s panties in his bed as you clean his bedroom?

A woman cooking. Image from http://madamenoire.com/195646/so-what-if-i-dont-cook-for-women-who-arent-obsessed-with-what-men-want-in-a-wife/

See, going through campus has always been regarded as one of the main stages that really teaches you about life’s harsh truths. Getting to live alone (or sometimes with a roommate or two) far away from the tender care of your parents/guardians shows you a thing or two about how to buckle up and face tough things on your won. Examples of these include rom cutting down on expensive luxuries like eating meat every day to cutting down on having milk with your tea, but one big lesson I got from campus is dealing with relationships.

Read more at Potentash.com.


#Feminism: I Am A Feminist! Huh?

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I am a feminist. That I know. It has little to do with the fact that I am female, but a lot to do with the fact that I am female. Right. Confused? I thought so. So I asked my friends and acquaintances to tell me what came to mind when someone told them they were a feminist. The responses were very interesting!

  • Someone who advocates for equal rights & opportunities for women. Though usually it feels like they advocate a bit too strong hadi people don’t like them.
  • I believe you mean you support anything related to females.. E. G, their rights hivi hivi… 😜
  • Mtetezi wa haki za wanawake…
  • It means fighting for the rights of women and equality for both genders.
  • They are very passionate about gender studies and equality.
  • The person fights for women’s rights.
  • A feminist believes in equality between men and women (not just superiority of women which is what most people wrongly assume).
  • A feminist is anyone, male or female, that holds the truth of women being equal to men in every characteristic and facet of life, and that there isn’t a disparity or inequality inherent between genders.
  • Ngai Fafa! Its a women thingie…..something like that.
  • They seriously advocate for female rights, the girl child and what not..
  • Ride or Die Female for Females😅
  • A tough lady who actually know what she deserves and is prepared to fight to have it.
  • Anti sex workers.
  • A woman who consciously commits to the struggle of women. A femminist takes sides, defending the woman championing her cause.
  • A feminist is a person who does not like the way women are treated _ patriarchy, inequality, oppressive laws against them, being treated as second class citizens etc.
  • A feminist is a that rare breed of human that doesn’t take the ‘its our tradition’ narrative sitted down.
  • When I hear the word feminist my mind clicks on a woman with a vagina.
  • A feminist is a heroin…she takes a stand for the rights of women who dont have a voice and would otherwise be treated as no more than a few pieces of brass or silver.
  • Creepy. Someone who won’t stop fighting for their rights everywhere I go….complain about each and every injustice and inequalities among genders. Most of the time they are those bitter people! So bitter about it!

Fascinating answers! I personally wouldn’t have thought of this. I remember a few years back when I had a conversation with this person who was seemingly intelligent and they just couldn’t understand why I kept saying and insisting that I was a feminist. And yup, he was a man. No surprises.

Not that there aren’t men out there who aren’t feminist, no. There are. It is just that the concept of feminism clashes with the ingrained mindset of misogyny and patriarchy that we have grown up learning every single day of our lives.

When you tell your little girl “sit up and straighten your dress”, you are perpetuating patriarchy. Basically, it is a system where women are lesser than men. How many times have you heard boys being told “don’t be a sissy!” or “don’t do that, its girly!” – you know, as if being girly is something to be ashamed of, or rather, something lesser than anything ‘manly’. How many times have you heard women saying “she’s so manly!” and sneer at the person or whenever someone in power like, say, Martha Karua who is referred to as the “Iron lady” and considered to be “too manly for a woman” and so forth.

I don’t want to get into too much detail, but to sum it up, seems my friends and acquaintances do understand what feminism is, although we still see that quite a number have a skewed view of feminists. Not to blame them too much though, some feminists have indeed gone overboard in their “feminism”, going as far as stating that it is about “women taking over the male world”, which is absolutely incorrect.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie sums it up simply:

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, “You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise you will threaten the man.” Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices. Always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors. Not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing. But for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.

Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

What comes to mind when you think “Feminism“? Comment below!

iOut!